Let it go and let it be

I have a tendency to leave things bottled up. This is very dangerous even for a normal person my age. Here lately I just want to vent and talk about things in my life that have just warped me into a split personality like human. I feel so many emotions and I just wish I could lay it all out there without feeling even worse. It's like a reoccurring nightmare that haunts me. It takes one word, one minute, one person to make you or break you. I've been on both ends of that table and it's always the bad that ways out the good. Between fighting with friends or family to seeing that person that broke you into a million pieces and trying to put on that face that makes everything seem ok I feel so lost. I wish it wasn't so hard. I wish I could turn back time and do the things that I regret not doing. I miss the old me, I know I can't get that back and it's my mistake to bare. I just wish that another path would open up to me. Some part of me wishes I could be happy like this. Loneliness will end up being my final curtain call. I can just feel it. I'm just waiting on the lights to fade at this point.